‘When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.’ – African Proverb

Are you a reflector? Are you that person who looks back over the day and week and reflects on how it’s gone? 

Great. That’s a really good thing: it’s how we constantly learn and improve. It gives us time to think about how effective our behaviour and decisions have been, how they’ve impacted on the business and the team. It can highlight what we’re proud of and what we could have done better. It’s great for increasing self-awareness and self-improvement. 

But:

  • Are you the person who can never find your rose-tinted spectacles? 
  • When you think back do you mainly focus in on everything that went wrong? 
  • Do you magnify things that could have gone better?
  • Do you spend time, not just thinking about how you could improve, but wallowing in what went wrong?
  • Can you not forgive yourself for mistakes or failings that you would readily forgive in others?

If this sounds like you, you’re turning reflection into masochism. This behaviour is not only draining but it’s a total waste of time. 

Tips for positive reflection

1. Remember – you cannot change the past only learn from it.

2. Think about the event that you’re churning over, where does it really sit in the scale of things? Get some perspective.

3. Talk it over with a trusted friend, get third party perspective if you’re just too close to rationalise.

4. Ask yourself ‘If a colleague had done x how would I react?’ If you would tell them, ‘It’s no big deal, no harm done,’ or ‘it’s easily put right, not to worry,’ then start applying these sentiments to yourself.

5. Reflect on both good and bad in equal measure, learn, (make amends if that’s appropriate) then draw a line under it and move on.

6. Give yourself a break or even a pat on the back (go on, be daring!) 

Do one thing: spend 10 minutes at the end of every day reflecting on what went well, and finding something you’ve done that you’re proud of.

You can join Marianne for a McFreedom Secrets workshop, if you’d like to improve the way you run your business and cure some of those headaches.